“God is Gracious”

a truly fitting meaning to your name

chosen wisely by the beautiful couple that brought you into this world

your smile lights up the world

you brought joy into all of our lives

you are something that brings us all together, connects all of us on a different level

you bring such happiness to all of us

the kind no one knew existed until you were brought into this world that has turned cold

you are the future that can make a difference in this chaotic flipped upside down world

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nanny

i regret not going to your funeral

crying for you

mourning you

i was a selfish teenager

wrapped up in the drama of a boyfriend

i never meant to disrespect you

nor do i want you to think i do not miss you

i think about you quite often

the memories from my childhood

the laughter

your homemade pizza

the cloud of smoke from kools surrounding you

playing 500 rummy and doing word finds

i’m only left with the regret of not spending enough time with you

scatterbrained

it is only a matter of time before the pot boils over

the filled circle haunts me every day

who? what? why? do I feel I need to know everything?

i never will

always left with my mind wandering

what was it that captured the senses today

who knows

do i have better things to pollute my mind with?

probably

instead left to have my thoughts wander into the unknown

my past has raped my mind rendering me helpless

how long before i see something different

how long before i gain acceptance

how long before i let my mind go in another direction

time will tell

jealousy

jealously is a bitch
like a drug being injected into your veins
it turns you into a different person
you become filled with sadness even sometimes rage
it makes you a cold hearted snake
sometimes there is no coming back from that in which you feel about something, someone
jealously is a bitch

they

i admire you brave soul
knowing what you want
where your place is
perhaps you may still be slightly discombobulated

but

you will get to where you need to be
become the real you
in the end it doesn’t matter
you are an amazing person that has left a deep mark in this world
people will remember you and admire you whether you are he, she, it, we, they ……
nothing makes sense in this world
what matters is what makes sense to you and you alone
labels, pronouns, signs
they are all insignificant
we all have uniqueness that makes us a shining star

ogling

for the love of christ please stop fawning over them

i don’t understand

why do you all feel they are so special?

they are not

is it their perfect faces, hair, bodies

this should not matter

they drag on and on about the same useless bullshit

and you all hang on like it’s the greatest thing ever

unknowingly you cause tension by doing this

i hope i am never hanging off the edge of a cliff about to plummet to my death with one of them

i for sure would not be the hand that one of you grabs

perhaps you would try to be a hero and save us both

in the end if we were both slipping i would be released so that they could be saved

purple people eater

written while people watching at a local Dunkin Donuts

you should be ashamed that you left the house looking that way

open toe scruffy slippers

a purple skirt with a pattern that nightmares are made of

a cruddy old t-shirt with an unflattering jacket on top

your hair frizzy with kinky curls

you stand in line picking a wedgie out of your front parts thinking no one can see you

do you not have any standards, any self respect

please for the love of god wash your hands before placing it inside of the bag to pull your donut out

i can’t imagine that the smell of your lady parts would enhance your donut enjoying experience

Note: Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

loving the big easy

from the moment i walked through your streets i fell in love with you

you overloaded my senses

the beauty that you hold is beyond reproach

your culture fascinating

you captivated me

put me under a spell

every day i was with you was a treasure

i took it all in like it was my last day on earth

the scenery

the music flowing through your streets

every local i spoke with more fascinating than the next

you left a mark on me

i long to be with you again

the beast within

This was written circa 2009, during my relationship from hell.

you broke me today

a beast released from deep inside of me

you made me this way

the only one that can bring this out of me

this ugliness

i saw black

i was scared

i did not know what i was doing

screaming, crying

the rage coming out of me

my parents had to see me like this

because of you

your selfishness

your disgusting nature

you always cared about yourself

you never saw what you were doing to me

calling me crazy, unfit, stupid

when my eyes opened the room was in disarray

broken glass, trash

like a cyclone came through

i hated you for this

all of it

what did i do to deserve you breaking me

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