There is nothing I fucking hate more than people that talk on their cell phones in a public restroom. It is not only disgusting and unsanitary, but it is fucking rude. I don’t give a flying fuck about Yolanda’s man or Shaquita’s baby daddy while I am squatting taking a piss in a public bathroom. So here’s what I do…..
Flush the toilet as many times as I can as I moan like I have explosive diarrhea
Make loud fart noises, like the most obnoxious fart noises I can
Cough real loud
Belch like a trucker
Make puking noises
Usually I get no reaction, but the times I do get a reaction I love every last second of it.